So it’s time for the very last 2010 nominee before the big awards ceremony tomorrow. When I saw the title for this one I just thought it was fitting plus, “Heaven,” has almost as many nominations as “Cry Wolf” did and that was totally one of the most awesome adult movies of the year.
Ok, so the beginning isn’t as nice as “Cry Wolf” with its nearly instant fade to strip club followed by mutual masturbation in a large SUV. But its par for the course for “Heaven” since it’s set around a strip club with dancers making up several of the key performers. This allows the performers to play to their usual strengths and minimum work to be done establishing a plot, throw in a hard up old club owner who’s girlfriend doesn’t want to fuck him add an bouncer with ambitions and a gambling problem, insta-plot in porn terms anyway.
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There was something about this movie that struck me as interesting before I even read the description. Throat: A Cautionary Tale. It’s not very often that you find a porno cautionary tale (usually more like a cautionary tale about porn), so I just knew I had to check it out. And I’m so glad I did, because playing right into my love of anything full of suspense, this Law and Order-esque fuck flick offered up a huge load of mystery, murder and mega hot sex. I mean really, does a movie get 12 AVN noms without being downright awesome? I think not.
You know you’ve got a good thriller when the movie opens at the crime scene. A dead body lies bloody in an alley, and the police have been called in to find out what happened. For us, the body belongs to Julie (Sasha Grey), who we soon find out was a peep show girl with an angry boyfriend and a special talent for deep throat. And why is that? As a nod to the classic porn Deep Throat, our protagonist too has her clit located deep in the back of her throat. And what’s the only way to stimulate that buried treasure, by swallowing cock all the way down, of course!
I’m not going to spoil any of the thrills and chills that this porno has to offer, but know that horny police (mostly Penny Flame), corrupt boyfriends and an awesome performance by Sasha Grey totally make this multi-nominated movie a definite must see, especially if you love a good murder mystery mixed in with all the sexiness’. What can I say… I blame it on Mariska Hargitay…
Throat: A Cautionary Tale is nominated for some of the biggest accolades of the awards show, including Best Actress – Sasha Grey, Best Director – Feature AND Best Video Feature.
-J.D. Bauchery
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Happy Hanukkah! Welcome to the eighth evening of Hanukkah, the last night. If you don’t know by now, we are celebrating this year’s festival of lights porno-style and talking up some of our favorite sexy Semites.
So far, the chosen folks we’ve chosen to celebrate have been James Deen, Ron Jeremy, Nina Hartley, Michael Lucas, Herschel Savage, Annie Sprinkle, Seymore Butts and Joanna Angel (our shamash, the super special lighting candle).
So, who are we partying it up with this last evening of the holiday? Vivid founder, Steven Hirsch!
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A bunch of weeks back, I was watching the premiere of Conan O’ Brien taking over The Tonight Show, when all of a sudden Conan was hanging out in the middle of the Vivid Entertainment Group’s offices. What the hell? Apparently Conan was just paying a visit to his new neighbors, who reside right across the street from his Tonight Show set.
Yep, Vivid was on The Tonight Show. That is how big the porno emipre of Vivid really is - they’ve become a household name… a sexy, sexy household name, like Hitachi Magic Wand, or Debbie Does Dallas. And with more than 2000 movies and a slew of super hot contract girls under their belt, as well as changing the face of porn and adult marketing since 1984,Vivid is turing 25!
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Ok porn fans, I’m super excited about the title I’m going to be reviewing today. Why? Because it’s all about “Content” that’s why. A friend suggested I take a look at Vivid Premium’s “Content” and from the moment that I read its description I had high hopes for this alternative look into porn. Can it titillate both my mind and body? I’m looking forward to finding out.
Almost immediately words flash on the screen almost faster than I can read them, even with my special hentai subtitles training. Thankfully I have a secret weapon in the war against written word on film – pause! None of it turns out to be important, just blurbs of information and random instances of humor. One thing I should admit straight up – I really love alt-porn guys. The leaner look and all those pretty tattoos are way hotter than your average bulky, bland male porn star (sorry Alex, I still love you though). When it comes down to what I want to see naked, hot, leanly muscular and tattooed men are at the very top of my personal list. There are definitely plenty of them in this movie; one of them even has glasses!
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Tristan Taormino has never let me down. Whether she is bringing us instructional guides or straight up porno, her movies are always thoughtful, engaging and so freakin’ hot you need a cold shower to recover. Before even watching this latest release, I knew it was going to be amazing. I mean really, five popular performers playing out their own rough sex fantasies with the partners of their choosing – how could that NOT be amazing?!? Especially when it has people like Sasha Grey, Satine Phoenix and Derrick Pierce in it!
The movie starts off with each of the performers talking about their definition of rough sex, which translates out to five different definitions, as it should. No two people have the exact same definition when it comes to sex and it’s really awesome that Tristan Taormino makes sure to really stress that and the importance of communication from the get go. I love seeing these strong female performers talk about what actually turns them on and not be ashamed, no matter how dirty and rough their fantasies. I think even seeing women talk openly about “taboo” sex will help other women (and men) feel more comfortable talking about their own desires. And knowing that makes this movie extra sexy to me!
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I don’t get to watch funny porn very often, so when I saw this Vivid Premium movie was categorized under humor, I jumped at the chance. Aside from being pretty freaking hilarious, which I’ll get to in a minute, this flick as all the high quality video/production that has come to be expected of a Vivid title and, obviously, a ton of super hot sex. So, we’ve got a good plot, awesome production value and hot sexin’ – pretty much the trifecta of great porno.
Ok, let’s talk about this plot. Basically Evan Stone and Tommy Gunn are two guys with big dicks who find out their friend Matt (Voodoo) has quite the small member, which explains why he always turns the ladies down. To help him, they bring to get hypnotized by “Manning the Guru” and have him believe that he has a giant schlong. I’m not going to spoil the rest of it by giving away the ending, but just know it’s worth a watch.
To me, the best part of this movie was definitely the performers. The ones they chose to fill each roll worked out perfectly and the humor was dead on the money. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I think Meggan Mallone is one of the sexiest performers out there. For me, it was all Stone and Gunn that make the movie, even in spite of all the dick jokes. And I’m pretty sure that Evan Stone could make it in acting even if he kept his clothes on. He’s gotta get those Coen Brothers on the phone!
Let’s not forget about the sex! The scene I found hottest was the first. Stone and Gunn team up and go for an orgy with two women, switching women every so often. While sure that could come off as a little crude, I thought it was pretty hot. Especially when the girls were leaning close to each other. Fuck pile!
And though I watch porn all the time and see a ton of dicks, including these ones before, I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how big they are! These three guys are the owners of some massive cocks.
So, dicks in hands, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn and Voodoo totally turned this movie from a good idea on paper to a freakin’ awesome porno on the screen! Job well do. You can give those wangs a pat on the back!
-J.D. Bauchery
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Bring on the funny! My last few reviews all had pretty heavy subject matter, and though “Taboo” ended up having me rolling in the aisles, it also had me ready to pick a fight. So I was definitely in the mood for something a little lighter. With three AVN award nominations, “Stood Up” looked like it might actually hit the spot.
I suppose I should start at the beginning. The sex scenes were pretty long, giving plenty of time for all the staples: oral - both a blow job and cunnilingus, as well as at least three position changes, probably anal in one form or other and a little dirty talk during the pounding prior to that all important cum shot. I must commend the sex scenes in “Stood Up” for their efforts in one particular area – “Stood Up” does have a lot of hot male performers doing the pounding. Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone and everyone’s current golden boy James Deen are just some of the hotties that put this film high on the female friendly eye candy side of the spectrum. It is still a film made with more of a male audience in mind than a female one, so we’re treated to lots of female writhing and moaning and only really get to see the torsos of these hot men instead of their faces.
Plot, my love, where are you? Some women go for looks, others go for brains and if the performers are the looks of a movie, then its plot is its sweet juicy succulent brain. Nearly one hour in and I’ve only got the tiniest hint of a plot - aging comedian tells tale to doting fan about his life in the comedy business. That really was the entire plot I got after watching “Stood Up” for over an hour, but I got two sex scenes and one of them a threesome that would have been so much hotter if they were more than just fucking bits on my screen though. Then it hits, a wonderful acting performance followed promptly by James Deen taking his clothes off.
Ok, I admit it – throw a naked James Deen into a scene with a natural breasted, natural brunette and my only apparent response is happy drooling. He’s not even my type, but man is he fun to watch fuck. Plus the female performer James was paired with gave really amazing performance moments before the actual sexing started, definitely my favorite scene in “Stood Up.”
Ok, so all in all “Stood Up” is about two and a half hours long. Ninety percent of that time is taken up with some rather acrobatic sex scenes (there’s this one in a tiny trailer that should win an Olympic Gymnastics award.) Though I think James Deen’s scene was by far and away the best, most of the scenes had their own O potential. On the sex I can barely fault it, on the comedy and plot it left a lot to be desired. “Stood Up” will probably get you off but I wouldn’t expect it to entertain you in any other way.
-FrzKey
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So it’s probably safe to say I love getting wrapped up in a good story. It’s pretty obvious that I adore a great porno too – and at this point HM4H readers are well aware that I think a good story and a good porno can, and should, go hand in hand. Unfortunately, in this short attention spanned age of debauchery, I sometimes I think I might be alone in that desire.
Sometimes it’s great to be wrong. At least one industry veteran misses having more to say than ‘oh-oh-yes’ in her scenes. Savanna Samson recently told the New York Times how much she missed doing features with more plot: “I couldn’t wait to get my next script… I used to have dialogue… Getting it on in one hardcore scene after another just isn’t as much fun.”
Not terribly fun to watch either. Oh a great sex scene is still a hot scene and usually can stand on its own as being absolutely awesome, but if that’s all there is to the film, I’m probably not going to come back later. An attitude amongst consumers that probably prompted Vivid Premium’s co-chairman, Steven Hirsch, to say that: “on the Internet, the average attention span is three to five minutes… We have to cater to that.” – NYTimes
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This time I was craving a movie I could get lost in, and so I picked up the rather long “Cry Wolf.” With over a 2 hour run time, and more AVN nominations and awards than I can shake a stick at, I figured I’d be in for one hell of an engrossing movie.
Five minutes into the film and I can already tell I’m in for a major treat. The word that comes to mind first is, tasteful, really actually tasteful. I’ll admit that within the first few minutes the male lead has his tongue buried in Monique Alexander’s crotch, but the set, costuming and even the dialogue doesn’t scream wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. One gets the feeling that you’re watching a particularly raunchy mainstream thriller, complete with sultry seductive femme fatale. That’s high praise coming from me since the lead, Monique Alexander, is the typical porn blond, but with natural breasts and the ability to recite her lines with conviction – so ok, maybe she’s not so typical after all.
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