So I’ve been dying to see this incredibly cheesy, hopefully ultra-good movie since I saw a preview for it at the end of another classic film. Now I’m finally ready for the love that only a super sexed alien from outer space can bring to the otherwise doomed human race! It’s time for “Ultra Flesh!”
Hehe, you can always tell how old a classic is by the dates they set as the distant ‘future’ this one is set in the early 1990’s. There’s a horrible crisis striking the world, all the men everywhere are impotent and the world is starting to feel the effects. I have to say I love the thought of a planet wide limp streak. At first they think the problem is sugar and cut off all sugar imports, but the president of that country swears his men aren’t impotent so the President of the US (who’s got a fake southern accent that reminds me oh so much of George W.) flies off to check on their virility himself – no, this isn’t a gay title.
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It was a bright beautiful kind of sensuous day when I picked “Bad Girls” out for review. The words ‘masterpiece of tease’ jumped out at me from its description and I just felt that a masterful tease fit the day somehow.
Ok, call me crazy but women who wander around completely naked as they go about their daily chores isn’t so much a tease as it is a misbegotten fantasy of the 70’s. Still the fact that no one immediately reaches for a crotch, a dick, or even a dildo is somewhat refreshing and intriguing after tons of modern gonzo wham and bam. Of course that kind of ‘innocent’ nudity only lasts a few minutes before someone’s getting pulled into a sex scene.
Old movies almost always have at least one very, uncomfortable, scene. At least one. For me that scene came relatively early on in this movie, I really don’t think that the Boy Scouts offer a badge for that kind of thing. Thankfully the girls had their fun and left him along the way. In the end I suppose it’s another reason why this film got the label “masterpiece of tease.”
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I’m still bitter enough about W to get excited when I see a movie called “Fuck Bush.” I probably need to move on or whatever, but at least I have a deserving target for my rage! This VCX collection doesn’t have anything to do with government, but does capture some of the biggest stars of the golden age of porn, including Kay Parker and Dorothy LeMay, in all of their hairy glory!
I have to talk about scene eight, from the classic flick Sex World, because it starts off with the best porno music I’ve ever heard in my entire life. And that’s before Kay Parker enters and announces her need for a “huge, gorgeous cock.” Of course, her wish is some lucky dude’s command and he’d better have big balls if he hopes to satisfy Parker! Joey Silvera and his mustache are up to the task as she sucks him off while people watch behind two-way glass. Sex World is apparently a pretty cool place to be if you’re a voyeur.
There are also two scenes featuring John Holmes, including the first scene that features a threeway with Desiree Cousteau and Seka from the movie Sweet Alice. I totally heart Seka and this is pretty freaking hot.
While classic compilations are sometimes thrown together without much thought, I have to admit I’m pretty impressed with this one. Big stars, good scenes and natural ladies getting down and dirty! Really a must-see for fans of classic porn.
Ps. After getting this little taste, I am totally adding Sex World and Sweet Alice to my list of movies to watch.
-The Porn Librarian
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Trying to “get past” the datedness of classic porn is like trying to “deal with” Casablanca being black & white. You just don’t do it. Sure, the hair, make-up and décor are a little cheesy, but the seventies styling of this renowned film, as well as the actual acting, are what really make it such a pop culture icon. Two sentence synopsis: after committing suicide, Miss Jones ends up in limbo and finds out the she can’t get into heaven because she took her own life, but can’t go to hell because she was just too good. She makes a deal to come back and go to hell after she’s sufficiently “lusted” enough and is granted a limited second chance for sex – and she takes it!
This film goes from morbid and dark, to sensual and erotic, to double penetration and cock worship, all in about an hour. I love the idea that Miss Jones is given a “teacher” to rid her of her inhibitions, though he’s not exactly kind or much of a listener. And there’s a random scene with a snake — she puts it in her mouth and I just don’t get it. Maybe some sort of metaphor for evil? (maybe Eve and the snake?) Anyway, this movie is a classic for a reason. Heck, even my mom has seen it. You should too.
-J.D. Bauchery
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