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Top Five Tuesday
After finally sitting down to watch Deep Throat yesterday, I was inspired to take a second look at some of the biggest names in classic porn – the ones that not only changed the adult industry, but also cemented themselves into pop culture fame. Plus, you know, the ones your parents saw in the theater when they came out. Well, at least mine did.
In no specific order, the top five classics you’ve definitely heard of, but probably never seen.
Each of this fabulous fuck flicks are a piece of pornographic history that every adult movie watcher should see in their lifetime. So get your super hot history lesson on and check them out! Trust me, the pop quiz is totally worth it. Read the rest of this entry »
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Here in Philadelphia, it has been one heck of a crappy winter. If if isn’t snowing or dropping some other accumulation of “wintry mix” on our heads, we have to avoid giant snow banks and treacherous puddles of icy slush on the ground. Basically, it’s the pits! We are over 70 inches of snow this season, with the forecast calling for more tomorrow night into Thursday. Ug! Saying that I am over snow would be a gross understatement.
So, this week we are in “wing and a prayer” mode and hoping that if we watch enough warm, sunny outdoor porn, it will magically become spring and we will be able to step out of the house in something other than snow boots. So, here’s hoping… our Top Five warm and sunny outdoor porns! Read the rest of this entry »
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Happy almost Valentine’s Day! While some folks think that V-Day is a clever ploy from Hallmark and the candy companies (which it very well may be), there is no denying that the mere mention of February 14th automatically brings up visions of hearts, romance and love.
Today I come in the form of a chubby winged dude in a diaper shooting love arrows into the hearts of cynics, so face it, the holiday for couples is here to stay! And what better way to celebrate that loving bond than with porn! This week’s Top Five Tuesday is all about the lovers, bringing a special mix of real couples getting busy and lots of tantalizing tips on how to keep this chilly Valentine’s night hot and steamy. Read the rest of this entry »
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I had so much fun recapping the Golden Globes in my last Top Five Tuesday that I couldn’t pass up the chance to do the same thing for the Grammys. While I didn’t actually watch the show last weekend, I think I’m more than qualified to make loose connections between some of the winners and porn titles. Enjoy!
ps. can you believe Steve Martin won for best Blue Grass album? How bizarre is that?
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Use Somebody: This King of Leon song won for Best Rock Song this year and will most likely win an AVN Award next year when it is licensed for a porno. I honestly can’t believe there isn’t already a XXX flick by this name, but I expect that will be rectified within a month. For now, you’ll have to be happy with this Grapik Arts movie – I know I would much rather watch it than see Taylor Swift look surprised to win her billionth awards. |
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Single Ladies: Thanks to Beyonce, the entire nation has dressed up in a unitard in order to upload their own version of Single Ladies to the internet. I also expect that everyone realizes just what can happen if you don’t put a ring on it… If you are wondering, check out Ladies Night to see just what happens when all the single ladies get together for a night of fun! |
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Relapse: Eminem has a long history with the LGBT community – he’s pissing us off with his lyrics one week and staying in Elton John’s pool house the next… Because of this, I really couldn’t pass up the chance to connect his Grammy winning album Relapse with this Latino Fan Club movie packed full of hung studs sucking and fucking. |
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Sweet Thing: Keith Urban’s song Sweet Thing may have won for Best Male Country Vocal Performance, but I think we all know there’s a little something sweeter out there. Pleasure Productions knows what I’m talking about and that’s why they released The Sweetest Thing – a collection of hardcore XXX action. Sorry Keith, but I’ll take Gina Lynn and Evan Stone any day. |
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Boom Boom Pow: And this year’s AVN Award for best use of Onomatopoeia in a porno title goes to Jules Jordan’s Boom Boom Pow! Just a little prediction for the 2011 AVN Awards… I’m guessing the BEP will then come out and perform because I’m pretty sure they have a contract with a higher power to perform at every single awards show. |
-The Porn Librarian
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I don’t watch award shows typically, but after spending the weekend in NYC, the Golden Globes broadcast was the perfect way to veg out after returning home. While I admit to flipping channels during long acceptance speeches, I have to say it was a pretty entertaining show and I was pleased with the results. While I am going to pass on making any obvious Golden Globe jokes in today’s Top Five Tuesday, I thought it would be fun to celebrate the winners porno style!
I admit a couple of these may be a stretch, but please remember that I am a porn blogger and should never be held to the standards of esteemed blogs like TMZ. Enjoy!
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Sherlock Homie: I had to start off with this Sherlock Holmes spoof, because I love Robert Downey Jr and his speech was pretty hilarious. While there were a number of touching moments, Downey Jr injected a bit of humor into a long awards ceremony. You’ll also notice that the legendary sleuth seems a lot less gay when played by the super hung Sean Michaels. |
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Dexter: I haven’t seen the latest season of Dexter, but I really love the show and can’t wait to see John Lithgow in action, a lot like super cut Dexter from this Jake Cruise movie. Of course, when I’m talking about Lithgow, I’m not talking about XXX action, but I think you can’t go wrong watching either man doing what he does best. |
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In The Kitchen: Julie & Julia was one of my favorite movies of the last year and I was thrilled to see Meryl Streep the best actress award because she was, as always, amazing. Food and sex go together like eggs and toast for me, so this was an easy addition to the list. A classic clip to remind us all that the kitchen is the perfect place to heat things up! |
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Katya’s Balloons Vol 12: I’ve never had a reason to highlight balloon porn until UP won a couple of awards last night – how exciting! We have a ton of balloon porn, so it was hard to pick one, but I have a lot of love for Katja’s amazing performance as a Killer Hot Robot, so I figured I should give her another shout out. |
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Kevin Goes Wild: Is it just me or does Kevin Bacon look like the world’s biggest lesbian lately? Mr. Sedgwick brought home the Golden Glove for his portrayal in Taking Chance last night, which made me pretty happy because I support anyone who was in Footloose. While there are a movies I could have loosely tied to his win, I chose this one because I loved Gino Colbert in it when I saw it years ago. Plus, who really wants to watch a porno called Bringin’ Home the Canadian Bacon?? |
-The Porn Librarian
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Happy New Year! 2010 is finally here and January is already in mid-swing. By now most of us have vowed and failed at our New Year’s resolutions, creating a headache around the whole ordeal. This year I’ve decided to forgo the resolution rush and take my time with deciding what works for me and how to really achieve maximum J.D. awesomeness. So, twelve days into this new year, I’ve finally figured out what 2010 will mean to me and the top five things that I hope to get going in the months to come. And stick or fail… at least I have my porno! Read the rest of this entry »
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I’m not one to bet, but I’ve my thoughts on what movies I think will be bringing home AVN Awards this weekend. I figure this is a great chance to highlight some of my favorite movies of the last year and to test my ability to predict the future.
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Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex: This one is nominated for 2010 AVN Award Nominee for Best Specialty Release – Other Genre, and while the category is a crap shoot, this movie really stands out. Besides being amazing, it’s just different enough to garner the attention of those voting. While the award name isn’t much of a marketing tool, I think we can predict great things for Ms. Taormino’s smart movie starring Sasha Grey. |
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Fuck The World: Fuck the World earned nine nominations this year and I will be shocked if they don’t win something. I love how Club Jenna branched how this year with some new film lines and really hope they’re rewarded for taking some risks. Plus Jezebelle Bond and Marie Luv are smoking hot. |
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Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle: I’m a huge fan of Annie Sprinkle, so I’ve got my fingers crossed that this vintage porno is recognized as the Best Classic Release of the year. This film from 1981 stars Ron Jeremy in one of his first films and shows why Sprinkle is one of the true gems of the golden age of adult film. |
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PopPorn: The Guide To Making Fuck: The guys from PopPorn.com are really fucking funny. If they don’t bring at least one trophy back to the city of brotherly love, I’m going to be a very disappointed girl. I suppose TMSleaze could win too, because it’s pretty amazing, but since everyone wants to know how to make fuck, I think this is the one! |
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Battle Of The Asses: I don’t think the judges will be able to find a better collection of big booty bitches than the group Elegant Angel has put together. I mean, Cherokee and Pinky double team Michael Stefano in scene five. How amazing is that? I’m a big fan of EA and think this one has a great chance of being named the Best Big Butt Release of the year. |
Be sure to check out the rest of the 2010 AVN Award Nominations for any hot movies you may have missed.
-The Porn Librarian
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Merry Almost Christmas! By now you probably already know I am a big Jew, but I happen to have a major soft spot for all the commercial bits of old JC’s b-day. What can I say, I think I have Christmas tree envy. A Hanukkah bush just doesn’t do it for me, though I think I just found my lesbo root… Anyway, back to the colorful lights and candy canes. Yeah, I freaking love this holiday.
While the presents and holiday spirit are great, I think my absolute favorite part of X-Mas is the decorations. Houses covered in lights, the tree in the window – what more could a Jew ask for? This is the time of year for giving, so from me to you, a deliciously decorative Top Five Tuesday!
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Sparkly Lights: Seeing all the houses done up in lights truly puts me in the holiday spirit. In my neighborhood, the rowhomes string lights across from each other and make the whole street ablaze with X-Mas cheer. Even when it’s snowy and gross outside, I can’t help but feel super warm and fluffy inside! |
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Star Tree Topper: Some people go for an angel atop their Christmas tree, but for me, I’ve always been partial to a shining star at the tippy top. Sure, it probably has something to do with the star of Bethlehem, or some other heavily religious symbolism, but I’m just gonna stick with it looking oh so pretty. |
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Balls/Ornaments: No matter what color, size or shape, ornaments on the tree totally add to the magic of the holiday. My favorite are the brightly colored balls that hang off the branches and bring a certain whimsy to even the smallest of Charlie Brown trees. |
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Stockings: Hanging your stockings on the mantle and waiting for jolly old St. Nick to come stuff them during the night is one of the most exciting parts of the holiday. Three cheers for getting your stocking stuffed! |
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The Tree!: And last, but most definitely not least – The Tree! Big or small, real or fake, traditional or off-the-wall, the X-Mas tree really is the cornerstone of the Christmas celebration. Gotta love a giant cut down tree, decorated and propped up in a living room… wait, there is that envy again… |
Happy Holidays Pervs!
xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery
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Happy Hanukkah! We’ve been chatting up the festival of lights all week and talking about all the great Jews in porn, but what about the real point to the holiday? The presents, of course! I kid, I kid, but it’s true, we haven’t talked too much about the gifts. In my family, like many Hanukkah celebrating families, we give one present an evening, for each of the eight nights of the holiday.*
That said, we are on the fifth night of Hanukkah and today is the Top Five Tuesday. Coincidence? I think not! So, today is my Hanukkah gift to you – five just-added movies that I can’t wait to share with you! I haven’t seen them yet myself, so tonight, I’ll be having a one lady Hanukkah party of my very own.
Read the rest of this entry »
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Last week JD posted a list of our favorite movies that were justly nominated for AVN Awards this year. It’s awesome to see some of the movies that blew us away on the list, but I was taken aback by how many movies that weren’t on my radar that look super awesome! Today’s list highlights the five movies I had never heard of that I will definitely be checking out in between my holiday baking and present wrapping.
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High On Heels: I can’t believe I missed this movie – I am completely in love with Dita Von Teese and would love to be the girl rubbing her feet at the end of a long day. This fetish flick features Ms. Von Teese in every single scene and I can’t wait to review it. |
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Fuck The World: With nine nominations, including Best High-End All Sex Release, this Club Jenna film was one of the most frequently recognized film this year. It also happens to have Jezebelle Bond’s farewell performance, which I’m sure is going to be amazing and I loved director Jack The Zipper’s Razordolls. |
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Naughty Black Housewives: I’m not really into the whole housewives thing, but I’ve got nothing against three hours of hot and heavy XXX action. LT directs and stars in every scene, and I’ve watched enough of him in the past to know this one is worth checking out. I’m especially looking forward to seeing Sky Jolie ride his big dick! |
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Nymphetamine Volume 3: Nymphetamine is Michael Ninn’s new lesbian series and he’s maintained his incredibly high standards while capturing some amazing girl on girl action in it. I did have a chance to check out one of these earlier and if it’s any indication, I’m going to love this one. |
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Young Harlots Finishing School: Harmony films are usually pretty hardcore and I kind of love them for it. Not all girl porn has to be full of cuddling and kissing. There were a couple of films nominated from the Young Harlots series this year, so I figure I’d better see what these Brits have been up to in 2009! |
Be sure to check out the rest of the 2010 AVN Award Nominations for any hot movies you may have missed. With the one billion movies that were released this year, it’s impossible to stay on top of it all!
-The Porn Librarian
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