Sometimes I get so wrapped up in making sure that we feature women getting off and enjoying their sexuality that I forget to showcase men getting their groove on as well. This is sad, because it means we literally have thousands and thousands of super hot man-focused movies that I’ve never taken the opportunity to see. Total smut-peddler FAIL on my part.
Luckily, The Porn Librarian brought this Hot Desert Knights flick to my attention. Ten totally ripped dudes taking it off for the camera and jerking themselves into complete ecstasy. And what makes this movie even better? Each of the guys begin their scene totally dressed and chatting with the camera guy before removing each article of clothing nice and slowly while their cocks get rock hard. Yep, even this dyke queer girl can get down with that. You know how I love me a porn star interview segment. I will say that I could have done without the camera guy asking each dude if they were ready to “drop a load.” So tacky.
I really enjoyed that all ten guys had very different looks and varied approaches to the camera. Some men hammed it up and really got into it for the camera, and others just let the filming happen as they slipped into their own pleasure, barely acknowledging anything else. There were buff dudes, smaller guys, hairy ones – lots to chose from! I also thought it was cool that while they supposedly identifed as “straight,” the guys were alright with playing with their asses. I mean, it’s totally 100% great and fine when whoever plays with their butt, but there is a stigma around guys and anal action. No, it doesn’t mean they are gay. It just means they are awesome.
My favorite of the bunch was definitely scene 8 with Hank Cox. Though I wasn’t feelin’ his athletic shorts and tank, they came off pretty quickly to reveal a super hot body underneath (along with really cute boxers). There was just something about his interview that warmed me up to him instantly, which is kind of funny to say about someone you are just watching in porn, but eh, I liked him. Not to say that I didn’t equally enjoy watching him stroke his dick and cum all over his hand. Because yes, I definitely liked that too. In fact, all ten money shots were right on the money.
While I’ll always like watching the ladies gettin’ down and gettin’ off, from now on I will remember to save a little review loving for the dudes as well.
Welcome to our “Inside the Brain of a Porn Reviewer” Thursday post! These are stream of consciousness movie reviews that include all the weird comments I usually write down when I review, but drop by the time the post is ready to publish for all to see. This week I decided to go with a solo girl masturbation movie, which may or may not leave me with much to write. But it looks super hot and it is AbbyWinters.com, so I know I’ll enjoy it regardless. Let the fun begin!
Basic Idea (so you know what’s going on):
Helen J is masturbating alone on a couch. No plot, no fancy camera work, no nothin’ – a couch, a pillow and a gal jerkin’ off.
The Review:
- I love how the girls in AbbyWinters masturbation scenes usually start out with clothes on. Watching them take it off makes the scene even hotter. Read the rest of this entry »
Three vibrators + two locations + one woman. That’s about it. No music, no set, no nothing. Maybe it’s because I watch porn all the time and I am just accustom to big flashy movies, but to be perfectly honest, I was a little bored with this. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Femorg and the fact that they offer up real female orgasms and pleasure, and sometimes their brand of slow-paced, pared-down masturbation scenes is just what I want, but today their formula just seemed drab to me.
The woman, Cynthia, is beautiful and real and I would have really liked to see a little more of her personality. Of course it was hot watching her actually get off, but it would have been even sexier to get to know her a tad beforehand. I loved that the cameraperson panned up to her face a bunch and we got to see her expression as she came. But on the down side of that, they had to pan up to her face, because her toy was pretty much blocking everything else.
I know this seems like a negative review, but this really was not a bad movie. If it’s a relaxed, quiet solo fest you fancy, this is it! I will say it is the kind of movie you have to be in to mood for and if you want a fast-paced, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am fuck flick, keep looking.
Masturbation May is coming to an end, and while I’ll continue to play vagina dj in preparation for next year’s celebration, I wanted to send it out with a bang! A friend sent me this video last night and I knew it was the perfect way to pay homage to my favorite time of year.
I’m sure you’ve all been celebrating your asses off, but don’t forget to do it up one (or two or three) more times before the end of the month!
With a five finger army we invade our pants,
The Porn Librarian
May is masturbation month and while we’ve been talking at lengths about female masturbation (of course, we’re a women’s porn site!), we haven’t forgotten than guys stroke the snake too. Jerking off is totally hot, as well as really important in helping people figure out what they like, and even as someone who doesn’t get horizontal with the menfolk, I still love to watch a good penis pumping wank session as much as anyone else. I know that there are plenty of ladies that are with me on that one, so I decided to make today’s Top Five Tuesday all about the boys and feature my favorite guy solo scenes and movies. Lights, camera… action! Read the rest of this entry »
We’ve written a bunch so far about May being Masurbation Month, and while I love love love masturbation, I can’t say that I really like the word ‘masturbate’ or use it all that often. I’m a writer and more than anything, words get me going, so when it comes to talking sexy about self lovin’, ‘masturbation’ just doesn’t make the cut. I’d much rather go with all the fantastic euphemisms that really get down to the heart of the matter… alright fine, they make me grin and giggle and generally put my mind in the gutter, where it belongs. So, to celebrate the month and keep my thought pervy, I complied a list of my favorite ways to talk about solo lady love:
A night in with the girls – Auditioning the finger puppets – Beat the beaver – Beating around the bush – Bisecting the triangle – The ole feel n’ squeal – The two-fingered tango – Visiting Rosy Palms and her five sisters – Tiptoe through the twolips – Buttering your bagel – Checking for the jackpot – Womanipulation – Whipping your cream – Hanging out at the Y – Rubbin’ your nubbin’ – Checking my oil – Cleaning between the camel’s toes – Buffin’ the muffin – Coming into your own – Composing on the single key piano – Burro ride through Grand Canyon – Feed the beaver – Fiddle with your middle – Bushwhacking – Fingerbating – Copping a clam – Buttering up the whisker biscuit – Diddle my skittle – Banging the box – Buffing the bead – Coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp – Coaxing the turtle out of her shell – Jerkin’ your merkin – Jillin’ off – Jocelyn Eldering – Lovin’ your oven – Cunt cuddling – Carpet bumping – Churning butter – Clam bake for one – Diddling the bean – Double clicking the mouse – Cradle the cooch – Cuddling the kitty – Digging for clams – Engaging in safe sex – Engaging in a hot button issue – Flickin’ the bean – Diving for pearls – Doing the two-finger slot rumba – Entering the ring of fire – Paddling the pink canoe – Polishing the pearl – Playing the slots – Excavating the Tunnel of Love – Exploring the bush – Fluff your muff – Going fishing with the man in the boat – Going solo – Hand to gland combat – Having sex with someone you love – Menage a moi – Mistressbate – Muffin buffin’ – Paddling the finger canoe – Petting the kitty – Petting the pussy – Rubbin Hood – Rubbing one out – Searching for Ms. “G” – Sending Muffin Morse Code – Sexercising – Taking advantage of yourself – Teasing the kitty – Tending your own garden
This is by far not a comprehensive list or anything like that. They are just the ones that I think are awesome, and I know there are a ton of other hilarious/hot euphemisms I would love, so if you know any good ones that aren’t on the list, comment away!
I love May. Everything turns green, there’s an entire week dedicated to celebrating my birthday and it’s Masturbation Month! I hope you all took plenty of time to celebrate this weekend
If you actually need to justify jilling off, Em & Lo published a list of 15 reasons why everyone should masturbate. Here’s my favorite:
Masturbation is the shortest distance between you and an orgasm.
I completely forgot that today is May 1st, which means that it is officially Masturbation Month! Woohoo! Celebrate self-lovin’ one and all! Also, I wantedto give a heads up that tomorrow, May 2nd, is the annual Masturbate-a-thon in San Francisco. The event, presented by the Center For Sex & Culture, is a huge party with folks jerking off to raise money and has a ton of fun entertainment planned throughout the day. If you are in SF, I totally suggest heading over there. Oh and the lovely April Flores will be co-hosting. Plus Nina Hartley will be there! Swooon.
If you are nowhere near SF (sigh), you can always check it out online too!
I hope you’ll all be celebrating this weekend. I plan to inspect hands on Monday. They better be worked raw…
Women masturbate. You know that, I know that… it’s pretty much common knowledge at this point. But for some reason, female masturbation is one of the biggest taboos in our culture. It all goes back to stigmas surrounding women’s sexuality and desire and old timey views on sexuality in general. I’ve never understood how something so harmless and good for you could be so fraught with shame, but then again I am a sex positive, liberal, lezzie sex educator with a specialty in women’s pleasure, so really, how could I understand that? In my opinion, one of the saddest missteps of our sex education system (at least in the U.S.) is our glossing over of masturbation, especially for women. People are always razzing women about faking orgasms, but the reality of the situation is: how do we expect someone to know how they like to get off if we never give them the tools to explore themselves? So, in defiance of this asinine idea that lady self lovin’ be kept under wraps, I’m here to shout it from the rooftops and talk about all the different ways that women get themselves off!
There is no one right way to masturbate. Masturbation is a wholly personal experience that really comes down to stimulating your body in whatever way feels good. Sure, the woman in that porno you just watched was flat on her back with her legs spread open, gently stroking her clit with two fingers. Sure, that’s one way to jerk off (the most camera angle friendly way, even), but as with anything else in porno, it’s definitely not the do all and say all when it comes to sex. That said, there are an infinite number of ways that women get themselves off. The techniques mentioned below are really just a drop in the bucket (well, the most common drops) when it comes to women getting busy solo style.
While there are tons of ways to do it, most women masturbate by stimulating their clitoris, whole vulva, vagina or a combo of all or some of them. Some women get themselves hotter by touching their breasts, thighs and other erogenous zones, but usually need some sort of genital component to reach the big O. The G-spot is can also be a big player during masturbation. It may be difficult for women to reach on their own, but there are sex toys that are specifically shaped to hit the sweet spot. Read the rest of this entry »
News Flash! Chicks masturbate! Lots of them, in fact. And some do it a lot! The Gossard Big M Survey confidentially asked more than 1,000 UK women, aged 18-30, all about their sexual attitudes, habits, fantasies and practices and recently revealed their results. The survey found that 9 out of 10 women rub one out regularly and two-thirds of women admit to pleasuring themselves three times a week.
All in all, 92% of women admitting to touching themselves, which significantly tops the numbers from years past - only 74% of women confirmed solo action in 1979 and 62% in 1953. Duh really, when you think how much our society has changed since ‘53 and ‘79.
