Happy almost Valentine’s Day! While some folks think that V-Day is a clever ploy from Hallmark and the candy companies (which it very well may be), there is no denying that the mere mention of February 14th automatically brings up visions of hearts, romance and love.
Today I come in the form of a chubby winged dude in a diaper shooting love arrows into the hearts of cynics, so face it, the holiday for couples is here to stay! And what better way to celebrate that loving bond than with porn! This week’s Top Five Tuesday is all about the lovers, bringing a special mix of real couples getting busy and lots of tantalizing tips on how to keep this chilly Valentine’s night hot and steamy. Read the rest of this entry »
Happy Groundhog’s Day! From what the news said this am, Punxsutawney Phil came out of his burrow on Gobbler’s Knob (best name ever) and saw his shadow, which unfortunately translates to us dealing with six more weeks of winter. Boooo.
But instead of just glumly keeping my gloves and hat by the front door and my gas bill through the roof, this year I’ve decided to stay warm a little differently… with porn, of course!
So, follow my lead and deal with these extra weeks of frigid wind and snowy conditions by filling your mind with warmer temps, sunny locations, and lots and lots of hot hardcore action!
Thinking warm thoughts!
xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery
Ps. I know there are other weather predicting groundhogs out there, but Phil is a Pennsylvania staple and he has a Gobbler’s Knob, so really he wins in my book!
Happy New Year! 2010 is finally here and January is already in mid-swing. By now most of us have vowed and failed at our New Year’s resolutions, creating a headache around the whole ordeal. This year I’ve decided to forgo the resolution rush and take my time with deciding what works for me and how to really achieve maximum J.D. awesomeness. So, twelve days into this new year, I’ve finally figured out what 2010 will mean to me and the top five things that I hope to get going in the months to come. And stick or fail… at least I have my porno! Read the rest of this entry »
It’s December and you know what that means – the holidays are right around the corner. Alright, so it’s only the 3rd, but I’m of the firm belief that once the twelfth month hits, the decorations can go up and festive chatter can commence. And since I see every other blog talking up the holidays, I figured I would too! (Yes, if all the other blogs were jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, I’d jump too… as long as there was an orgy at the bottom.)
That said, this morning I checked out The Frisky, one of my fav snark-licious blog and saw a their list of 21 Sexy Presents That Are Just Wrong. While I whole heartily agree that a shirt that says “I’m A HoHoHo” is wrong and mistletoe boxers are a total tacky FAIL, I do think that some of the picks are actually kind of awesome. These were my standouts:
Thanksgiving is here and we are ready to celebrate! Sure, most people associate the holiday with turkey and pumpkin pie, but we here at HM4Her are all about being thankful for what we have. I guess when you get paid to write about sexin’ all day, you’ve got a lot to be thankful for! While that is on the top of my list, there are a few other things that have really made this year amazing. So, in no particular order, the here are the top few things that I am truly thankful for this year.
Queen Beds
After a long time of sleeping on smaller beds, a queen sized bed has made it’s way into my life and I am in love. Finally, my girl and I can cuddle our faces off for as long as we want, then separate to sleep and never even have to touch each other if we don’t want to. No more “I have an inch til I fall of the bed and you have a mile” bickering! Oh and let’s just say that all that extra room is quite nice when it comes to my other favorite horizontal activities… like watching movies in bed! I am so, so thankful for this lovely new bed (courtesy of my girlfriend moving into a bigger house).
Silicone
Silicone toys rock my world. No matter what shape or size (though Talula, pictured, is my absolute favorite), this material is body safe, tough and comes in such a variety of colors and textures that you could never get bored. It’s freaking amazing! Plus you can boil silicone toys to sterilize them. I don’t know what I like more – that my toys are super clean, or that I get to have a pot full o’ dildos on my stove from time to time. I like to call it Dildo Soup. (I have a special dildo pot too!)
Queer Porn
I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but our queer porn catalog has grown exponentially in the last year and I am seriously thankful for that. It means we get to make sure that the way we fuck is represented on the site and that we can offer the best queer porn out there to people all over the world. We’ve got so many amazing new movies up on the site that I barely know where to start, but here are some of the ones I’m most thankful for:
I know, I know, it’s kind of obnoxious to be thankful for my stupid phone, but I went through the most annoying freelance editing experience ever to make the extra funds to indulge my techy side. Four words for you: gay, vampire, teen, novel. Enough said? Ug. I love my phone and I am thankful for it. Plus I got an app that turns it into a “massager.” Woohoo!
Pure Wand
Ok, I got this steel bad boy back in spring of ‘08, so technically it doesn’t count as something new this year, but every time I go within 2 feet of the pretty black box that houses my Pure Wand, my knees go weak. Still, nearly two years later. So, I think it’s safe to say that I am just as thankful for this 1.5 lb steel wand than I was the first day it landed on my desk. And, if I ever get njoy’s Eleven, I’ll probably be so thankful that I’ll build a shrine and make ritual sacrifices from my toybox. Anyway, these steel toys are so awesomely hot. Thank you njoy!
Of course, I’m thankful for my family, my rad girlfriend and my friends as well. I know I’ve got it good and I enjoy celebrating all the stuff that keeps me happy and healthy. So, thanks to all the great people in my life too!
Happy Spanksgiving to one and all! The big day is almost upon us, and I thought it might be fun to celebrate a day early with an all-girl spankfest. What better to end this nice short work week than a nice short flick filled with food, fucking and fun?
Things heat up during the big meal, when spilled food and a stained dress lead to naked dining, food fighting and swats with a metal spatula. This holiday never looked so good! The spatula slapping leads to pushing away the plates and two ladies getting down and dirty right on the Thanksgiving table, while two others get busy in the bathroom. Accidently found vibrators and melting ice cubes make this harvest holiday dinner even better, if you can imagine.
Surprisingly, there isn’t actually a ton of spanking in this movie. From the title, I was expecting it to be a little more fetish geared, or at least focus on spanking a bit more, but alas, we mostly just get fucking and foreplay. But hey, that’s never a bad thing.
My favorite part of this 22 min minute quickie is definitely the erotic ice experience around the 19 minute mark. There is something about watching the ice melt and water trickle down her breasts that’s so extra sexy to me. They aren’t even fucking – just topless and indulging in some super hot (super cold) temperature play. No wonder that ice melted so fast!
All in all, while I’d skip this one if you’re looking for hardcore spanking or real lesbian sex, but otherwise this girl-on-girl Thanksgiving themed movie is the perfect way to transition into the holiday spirit and start a celebration of your own.
While the traditions of Thanksgiving now center on eating a big dinner and making turkey pictures out of hand prints, this holiday was once actually all about sharing skills and giving thanks for the good things. Obviously they were talking about sex. Okay, fine, it was all about the harvest, but really, I like to think it was all about hot puritan sex. Show me your ankles, you dirty thing. So in the spirit of the stuffing and gravy, here are a few tips to make some bedroom tradition of your own!
- Show Thanks. Let your partner know exactly how much you enjoy the way they nibbled on your labia or kiss behind your ears. Get out of that taking-for-granted rut and bring a sense of genuine thanks to your sexy time. Don’t want to just come out and say thank you? Gush your gratitude during dirty talk and moan out the many things you love, all the while, licking down their body… Read the rest of this entry »
Happy Halloween! We are back at the spooky time of year where haunting and hot get together for a roll in the hay. While a good scare can get our blood pumping almost as well as a mind-blowing orgasm, I prefer to look at Halloween as the perfect time to bring your most exciting fantasies to life with the magic of role playing! Bringing costumes and props into the bedroom is a great way to have even more fun during sex. It’s the perfect opportunity to try something new! Fancy a shag with a scantily clad French maid? Go for it! What about being the cop to your own barely dressed bandit? Don’t forget the handcuffs!
Not only can you rely on this time of year to easily find costumes of all of your bedroom needs, you can find sexy versions of everything, from nurses to nuns! All you have to do is open the package (I love a good pun!) and there you go – a completely sexy witch set in 2 seconds flat. The second best part of using the Halloween store to your sex life’s advantage is that while those costumes can be a pretty penny, they will be way less money than anything you could buy at sex toy stores or lingerie shops any other time of the year. And in these economic times, saving money is the sexiest thing of all!
Whether you are testing the role playing waters or a skilled pro looking for a few new tricks to treat your partner to, follow these terrifyingly helpful tips for bringing the bounty of the season into your bedroom!
- Forget about rushing to the store as soon as it opens in August. Head to the costume shop on Halloween, or especially the day after, to get the best deals on stores’ extra inventory. While the selection may not be as stellar as the first day they hit the shelves, the 75% off clearance tag will surely dry your tears. Read the rest of this entry »
Just in case you get too caught up in the costume parties and candy this weekend, I thought I’d just offer up a friendly reminder to change the clocks on Sunday morning (Nov. 1), at 2 am. This time we fall back an hour, giving us one whole extra hour to celebrate however we’d like.
I’m adding on this friendly UK public service announcement to make sure the reminder sticks. From what I hear, showing nearly naked men helps memory retention.
It’s Columbus Day here in the states and we wanted to pay homage to a lost dude touching down and calling our present day digs home. And because that guy was totally off base, I didn’t think you’d mind that this flick is all about Columbus, Ohio and not Christopher Columbus. You get dick either way, so I can’t imagine that anyone is shedding too many tears. So, like I said, we are checking out Ohio today and I, for one, am pleasantly surprised to see that the Buckeye state has so many sexy, cock-sucking men ready to drop trou for the camera. Alright, Ohio, I’m willing to forget about the 2004 presidential election for now, but only if you keep that hot man lovin’ coming strong.
Filmed in what is clearly a hotel (probably on the side of Interstate 71), this amateur video is totally bare bones, with no plot, dialogue, or music of any kind. What they do have is close up dick sucking and lots of it. Why bother with the few minutes of awkward scene set up when you can get straight to the action? I can’t say I’d love it if every porn movie was like this, but once in a while it is a nice change.
I’ll be perfectly honest that I was totally caught off guard around 22:35, when a weird robo-looking hand came out and started pushing this guy’s head down to take more cock in his mouth. After pausing it and taking a close look, I think it’s just a cast or splint, but for a second I thought we were in for something totally different. A few minutes later, all was confirmed. I guess you don’t usually see broken bones or wrapped injuries in porn and I just wasn’t expecting it. But what are you gonna do when you wanna let people in on Ohio’s finest and you only have enough man meat to go around? You gotta go for what you got, broken bones or not. Nothing gets in the way of a quality BJ.
The sex is, of course, the best part, but I love me some of the transitions with views of lovely downtown Columbus. There end up being a few scenes with poor acting, but luckily the action begins before they blabber on for too long. Dude, I don’t care why you are back in town, just swallow his cock!
My favorite scene is definitely the fifth, with two over-styled guys goin’ at it all over the bed. I love that the one guy has a Playboy bunny tan line on his hip. It looks so charming next to his hairless balls. No really, they are having lots of fun and it comes across easily on the screen. What more could you ask for?
All in all Columbus, Ohio has quite its share of sexy dudes and I’m crossing my fingers for a squeal, though I do think Cleveland might be where to head next. No matter where, it’s movies like this that remind me of all the awesomeness that we’ve experienced since Chris Columbus sailed the ocean blue back in 1492.
