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April Flores
  
There is no denying that we love porn stars and that we’ve been known to talk often about the special few that we have extra hard girl boners for. We just can’t help it – it’s like we are magnetically drawn to their movies! And once we watch them, we just need to write it up for you guys. And from reading the site, you can probably tell who some of our favorite are… Nina Hartley, David Taylor, April Flores, Jiz Lee, Joanna Angel, and the list really goes on forever, but enough about us. We want to know who YOU love to watch fuck on screen!
Even though we exist AND Oprah dedicated a whole show to it, some people still refuse to believe that women like porn. Well, we want your help in proving them wrong! So comment us up and let us know who you’ve been digitally drooling over. Just think, fi you turn us on to someone we don’t watch as much, maybe we will write about them more? Who knows what’s possible!
Comment Away!
xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery
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Going through old reviews, I noticed that while we wrote about scenes one and two of Abigail Production’s “First Dates,” we never actually reviewed the last scene (it’s actually scenes 5,6 & 7) . I skipped an April Flores scene! I am so ashamed! And I call myself a fan. Obviously I had to rectify this situation ASAP, so today we are hanging out with two of the sassiest lady lovers around – zaftig porno goddess April Flores and tattooed tuff gal Varla Vex!
Blind dates can either be a total hit or a cringe-inducing, run for the hills miss. And rough-around-the-edges blonde bombshell Varla Vex has experienced only the down side of fix ups… until now. Things are looking up as soon as the amazingly hot April Flores walks in the door in a tight, low-cut dress, sporting her signature bright red curls. The twosome hit it off right from the get go and sparks start flying as they get drunk at the bar.
Things devolve into a pissing contest… literally, as the ladies head out to the parking lot and try to pee over a truck. Yeah, I don’t get it either. I think that maybe they were actually drunk, which is totally fine with me. They both seem to be having a ton of fun and laughing their asses off, which is all I would require of a first date. While I’m not real into piss when it comes to porn, this was completely separate from the fucking so I could get down with it.
As soon as they head inside for another drink, we finally get some action! A perfectly positioned pool table is just the place for things to turn a little more physical as April balances on the side and Varla goes straight for her tits and bare pussy. I love the way that Varla keeps telling April how hot she is – like she is in awe of April, but who wouldn’t be? And it is super duper hot when April lets Varla know just how she likes to be fucked, all while keeping it nice and dirty.
So, by this point you’d think they’d just skip the boozing and head back to Varla’s place, right? Wrong! The pair decides to get that last drink before they bring it to the bedroom and end up actually watching the whole bar while the bartender (a cameo by porn director Vena Virago) goes out with Mexican Wrestler Mr. Unknown (played by himself). They have free reign of the place, with only one rule to follow – no fucking on the bar! And not to ruin the surprise, but the rest of the insanely hot fucking, sucking, licking and kissing takes place right atop the old wooden bar. I bet you didn’t see that coming; but predictable or not, it’s freaking hot! What can I say, I’ve always had the hots for the rulebreakers…
-J.D. Bauchery
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NYC’s kinkiest film fest is finally here! The 7th annual CineKink NYC film festival hits the screens tonight (running until Saturday, Feb. 21), bringing some of the raciest flicks -though much is not actual porno – to the risque-minded masses. The festival offers everything from documentaries to dramas, comedies, porns and all! So if you are in New York this week, you know what you’ve got on the itinerary! Read the rest of this entry »
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 (Photo by Chris Heuer)
Sitting on the edge of the Love Tub pulling on a pair of light pink long johns, I am beset by two fairly sad thoughts: 1. Seven a.m. is decidedly too early to be awake and ambulatory, especially when I went to bed at 4 a.m.; and 2. Leaving Las Vegas is sadder now than maybe it has ever been before. Why? Looking back at the sleeping faces of my cohort in debauchery these last 72 hours, I realize that the two sleeping lovelies curled up in our king-sized bed are my family and that they helped to make this moment in time a particularly special one.
Porn appears glamorous. And in many ways it is. Getting paid to have sex, especially if you are really into sex, is a dream for many people. The money is good, the hours can be short and sometimes the life feels and looks like living large. But porn can be harsh and seriously unglamorous in the best of times. As with any other work place, there are in-fights and hard words. There is backstabbing and underhandedness not to mention the constant effect of the burn-out and fade away.
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I can’t decide whether I want to throw up on my shoes or sprout wings and fly… Jiz Lee, Courtney Trouble and I are running past the front entrance of the Palms Hotel and Casino, exactly three minutes late for the red carpet and the excitement is palpable. Tonight is such a big night and we have spent the last two hours gearing up for our shining moment. I’m wearing a sculptural black strapless mini dress and 6 inch heels, Jiz is in pinstripe pants and chaps and Courtney is looking fierce in a black striped dress with a gold bolero jacket and perfect make-up. And we match. Black and gold, all. Black because we are artists and gold because we are fucking stars. And yes, it’s worth cussing about because life at this moment is very, very good.
We make it to the line up inside a side room at The Palms and breathe a deep sigh of relief. In line is April Flores, looking outrageous in a pink latex confection. She hands me a bottle of snapple mixed with vodka and bless her, I take a swig to soothe my nerves. We made it – in more ways than one; to the venue, to the AVNs and to points in our careers that we each never fully allowed ourselves to dream of. When I did my first scene five years ago, I was just exploring a side of my sexuality and identity that was performative. I had no idea if people would like it. When Courtney started, she just wanted to make authentic and hot queer porn. And Jiz? Well she is just a badass, I guess we all are, we all have been and being here feels like a surreal moment of being cognizant of that.
In line, we are surrounded by other badasses. Joanna Angel and the Burning Angel crew are right behind us looking tattooed, fierce and sexy. Jenna Haze passes us in line and Belladonna and Bobbi Starr soon do the same. Up ahead is the press junket, a long line of camera flashbulbs and correspondents with microphones firing questions. We walk and pose, walk and pose and Jiz and Courtney flank me, two of the sexiest “shortys” I have ever had the pleasure of posing next to. This year the red carpet is running much more smoothly than years past, no one is fighting, a few attitudes are thrown around but hey, this is porn after all and attitudes often inform conceptualizations of sex appeal.
In addition to the quick walk, the lovely set-up and the different location, this year the AVNs have added a “Twitter Pit,” a group of Twitterers brought together for the sole purpose of tweeting about the event and hopefully getting it to trend on Twitter. In the pit are some of our queer porn loving buddies and high on the energy of the red carpet, we decide to pull a little stunt. Well, not so little actually; it is Jiz Lee’s strapped Outlaw cock and she unbuckles her chaps and I whip it out as we all pose for a few more pictures, introducing the AVN world and cyberspace to just how the Queer Porn Mafia does things. Read the rest of this entry »
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Las Vegas got even pornier than usual this past weekend, playing host to the 2010 AVN Awards and Adult Entertainment Expo! Touted as the Academy Awards of porno, the AVNs celebrate the best and brightest of adult and are a huge deal in the industry. It’s a major honor to even be nominated.
We here at HM4Her have been gearing up for the awards for weeks, reviewing nominated movies daily and generally getting pumped for everyone that received a nod.
So many of our favorite porno folks headed down to the awards this weekend, including Dylan Ryan, who has been blogging for us along the way, and it seems like everyone had a deliciously debaucherous time, whether they came away with an award or not. And while not everyone we were rooting for went home with an award, the winners’ circle definitely included a ton of awesome adult stars and movies that deserve the recognition they received! Read the rest of this entry »
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Sitting in a corner booth at the 24 hours buffet, Jiz Lee and I are exhausted. She is slowly munching on shrimp while I sip my miso soup and we cover the details of the last few months. Its so pleasant to catch up and in amidst the jawing we express our enthusiasm for what promises to be an outstanding 72 hours. That being said, I’m wondering how I’m going to harness my mojo for the next 4-6. Tonight is the Good Vibrations/ Good Releasing party at the Venetian (sponsored by HM4Her!). It’s mustache themed, which is just my style and is going to be full of some of my favorite people from porn land and the world of sex.
We decide to finish up after our second go-round at the food line and scramble back to our luggage. Alas, because we haven’t been able to check-in to the Deluxe Love Tub Suite we are going to be sharing with Courtney Trouble, we grab our glamorous night garb and get ready in the bathroom of the Imperial Palace. Glamorous indeed. Read the rest of this entry »
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Happy Humpday! Welcome back to the mid-week stretch. And what a stretch it is. There’s nothing quite like coming back to reality after a long weekend away. Even though my inbox wasn’t as crazy as it could have been, the week after a break still seems like it’s about 3 weeks long. But now we are officially in December – the month of giving!! So, let’s start this month off right with a gift that keeps on giving… Link Love, of course!
- Linger, an internal feminine flavoring, brings a minty taste to your lady parts. While this is a no for me because it’s a yeast infection risk, I’m also under the firm impression that vag should taste like vag. (via TresSugar)
- This just in – Chosen chicks are hot. I mean, I’ve known this since before my own Bat Mitzvah, but it’s nice to see that Details agrees. Plus they tapped Joanna Angel to comment and come up with her own Do/Don’t list for dating a JILF.
- Zaftig chicks are also hot… and making some $ in the industry. I am 2 for 2 today and loving it! And it includes April Flores! Swooon!
- So, apparently gay folks are good enough to decorate The White House for Christmas, but not good enough to share a legally married life with someone they love… well, that seems like a fair trade. Sigh. (via SUNfiltered)
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Welcome back to our play-by-play scene review of Belladonna’s latest lesbo masterpiece! Onward to scene two, where we get the delicious duo of zaftig sexpot April Flores and the fabulous Jiz Lee. What a pair!
With no plot, background music or any distractions, this movie gets right down to the fucking. The scene starts with Jiz at the piano, fully dressed and playing a little ditty for April, who soon can’t take it anymore and comes at Jiz full of sweet kisses and dirty plans. The action begins as Jiz unbuttons her shirt and April goes to town, licking and kissing her body. Soon Jiz is face first in April’s pussy, but not before teasing her and licking her boots and taking her time to get there. And that sets the tone of the whole scene – sexy and fun, but hardcore and ready to please. This is a Belladonna movie, after all.
I love that April gives Jiz a blow job. There is something so subversive and sexy about blowing a strapped on cock that really makes the experience for both people. And you know April does it right, totally getting into it with lots of eye contact and giggles. Jiz’s face looks completely blissed out and turned on at full capacity. I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of spit play, which there was some of, but it wasn’t super extreme and didn’t go on for too long.
One of my favorite parts of the scene is when Jiz starts fucking April from behind and you can hear the first moans of penetration. While she goes slow for the first few strokes, Jiz loses no time gaining momentum and fucking April at full speed. Hearing April say “stick it in me” totally blew my mind and had me fanning myself. Especially when Jiz complies.
I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t too keen on the punching and choking parts of the scene. Even though I know they are 100% consensual and thoroughly enjoyed, it still makes me a little squeamish and turns me off a bit. But luckily I came right back on as April started to come, moaning louder and louder and yelling “oh my god” with that almost there shake to her voice.
But when it comes to my absolute favorite part of the scene, it is definitely when April is fucking Jiz and they are face-to-face kissing. The camera is really tight in their faces as they kiss each other’s noses and giggle. It really feels like we are privy to a private moment between lovers that is sweet and so sexy at the same time. Totally hot.
Be sure to stay tuned for our review of scene three – starring Jiz, Syd and Sinn Sage. I can’t wait!
-J.D. Bauchery
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I may not always understand the plots or even have any idea what’s going on, but I know whenever we get a new April Flores movie in, I will watch it. Sure April is amazing (which I’ll get to in a minute), but it’s the mix between her and the imaginative and vivid worlds that Carlos Batts – her husband – creates as a backdrops to his skillfully directed hot and heavy solo scenes and hardcore XXX that have me returning for more. I might not always “get it,” but Batts always brings it, giving us elaborate plots and wild characters each and every time. If it’s strictly the old bedroom in and out you’re looking for, you’d better keep on clicking.
April Flores could be watching paint dry – but as long as the camera is pointed towards her, I would gladly sit by and take it all in. There is something about her stage presence and confidence that up the ante of her insane sexiness and makes her so much more than just a hot porn star. You can tell that she gets really into it and is having fun no matter what hotness rolls her way. April works her body and makes sure that you see every curve and every inch of her skin. This zaftig queen lets us know just how much she loves her body and exactly why we should too. And she is definitely a good saleswoman, because I am sold – hook, line and sinker.
While I thought it was totally strange and I have no idea why I liked it, scene three was my favorite of the movie. April gives Barbie the thrill of her life and takes her somewhere Ken could only dream about. Of course she is decapitated for the journey, but hey, you make sacrifices to fuck a beautiful lady. And fuck her Barbie does! First with her feet and legs, then rubs all over April’s clit as April rams a giant blue dick into herself. Maybe I think it’s a commentary on something… or maybe it’s just hot – like I said, I don’t know why I liked it, but I do know this: Ken is gonna be pissed.
-J.D. Bauchery
13 Comments »
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