Temperature play is super fucking sexy! I’m anemic and small so I’ve always been cold; even during mid-summer I’m the girl with the long sleeves and jeans on because even if it’s hot outside, I’m only there for two seconds before jumping into some over air conditioned locale that will leave me shivering. That’s why I love the winter – I’ve got complete control over the thermostat and I crank that fucker up! Indulging in personal orgies of warm every night after work, which spills over to weirdness, like me huddling in front of my heater eating gallons of Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream because my constant uncontrollable chill leads me to a fetish for being really hot and indulging in all those cold things I usually have to abstain from or freeze.
Enter the Touché Ice – essentially a vibrating Popsicle. The Touché Ice, comes with a little silicone cup and a silicone cap that when placed on the cup has the shape of a largish egg, and a little waterproof bullet vibe that inserts into the cap. Silicone, removable water proof vibe and ice – this must be the easiest toy to clean ever, which is a good thing because obviously the Touche Ice was meant to be shared. You fill the cup with water, take out the bullet vibe from the cap, put the cap on the cup and stick the whole thing in the freezer for 3 – 4 hours.
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While it’s probably one of the most cliché clichés of all time, it is in fact true that necessity really is the mother of invention. When it all boils down to it, all the greatest ideas have been born out of a specific need to be filled. And sometimes that need is purely to have hotter sex. Amen to that!
In what I assume was an epic battle of wanting to fuck longer vs. having tired legs from holding them up and out for long periods of time, the sex sling was born! A simple strap that keeps your legs up and open, the Sex Sling is the perfect accessory for extending the action into the wee hours!
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You know, I have to say I wasn’t really super excited about this thing when I received it in the mail for review from Edenfantastys.com. I mean, my grandmother has one of these in her shower for “safety’s sake.” Now, I’m not sure what Grandma is up to because this thing is pretty sweet for wet and wild shower sex!
There’s not much to describe, it’s a plastic handle that has two levers that secure it in place. That’s basically it. It’s so simple that I wouldn’t be surprised to see an end cap full of these at the dollar store next to the Sham Wows. And you know, if I did, I would be done with my holiday shopping because it’s pretty great.
What makes this thing really stand out is how secure it is. We’ve used it a few times and it hasn’t moved once. I stuck it to the wall and pulled on it with all of my 135 pounds and it held firm for me. This translates to feeling safe in the shower, because no one wants to wipe out in the middle of the action!
While we’ve used it mostly as a strong place to hold onto, you can also put it down lower on the wall and use it as a foot rest for shaving or XXX fun. While I’ve used it mostly in the bathroom, it will stick to anything has a smooth surface, so it’s pretty versatile. I’ve even used it as a handle while I’m cleaning the shower – I know that’s lame, but it’s convenient and there’s nothing wrong with taking full advantage of any tool you have!
Overall, this has really let us let loose during any extra-curricular shower activities and it’s pretty handy to have around the house. I definitely recommend it to anyone who’s curious. Until it shows up at the dollar store, you can’t beat it for only $23.
You also may want to check out these Suction Handcuffs from the same line of toys. I know I’m adding them to my Christmas list!
Get wet and wild with Sportsheets’ Dual Locking Suction Handle.
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When it comes to sex toys, I’ve always been the kind of lady that goes for the stuff that will get me off as fast as possible, and quite possible vibrate me right off the bed. I’m not usually one that goes for the sensual, romance-inducing toys or anything that’s full of lotions or potions. But, as my toy collection started becoming super dildo and vibrator heavy, I figured it was time to travel into unchartered territory – erotic massage. But instead of just getting some massage lotion and being done with it, I wanted something I knew would be a whole experience. I’m nothing if not thorough.
This is how I ended up with one of the nicest toy packages I’ve ever seen – the Contour M + Afterglow sensory set by Jimmy Jane. First off, let me just point out that Jimmy Jane is one of the classiest toy companies out there. Not only was this package awesome, it was actually packaged amazingly as well. Nothing over the top or too much, but what I would expect from an upscale company. Basically, there were no naked chicks rubbing muscle men on the box. And really, that makes a total difference to me. What can I say, I sometimes judge a book by its cover.
The Contour M + Afterglow sensory set is a two piece kit, consisting of a hard ceramic massager and a candle that burns down into massage oil. As well, the kit comes with a really nice pack of wooden matches. Nice touch, Jimmy Jane. I love when my toys are all inclusive! The Contour M (which you can buy separately as well) is a palm-sized, medium weight, white ceramic massager. Shaped like a hollow mushroom cap with scalloped edges that make nubs, or kind of like a ghost from Pac-Man, but squashed a little, the Contour M fits perfectly in your hand and uses its nubbins to massage all the stress out of your/your partner’s body. Without some kind of lotion or oil it doesn’t run as well over skin, but it’s still pretty great. All in all, it’s the kind of object de’ art that you could use as a nice paperweight until you want things to get a little friskier in the office.
To make the Contour M an even better toy, Jimmy Jane paired it with a soy massage candle called Afterglow. All you need do is light the candle and let it burn for a new minutes and there you go – warm massage oil. You can pour the oil directly from the candle onto your partner or into your hand then onto skin, or onto the Contour M then to skin. So many options. And you get a nice sensual vibe from the candle light as well. What a multitasker!
I actually really enjoyed Afterglow way more than I thought I would. Afterglow was unlike any other massage oil candle I had ever seen before. The others were all super stinky and really artificial smelling, which is a total turn off to me, but the Afterglow candle has a light, refreshing smell that’s not perfumey or synthetic at all. Plus since it’s soy based, the candle burns cleaner for all 42 of the hours it is supposed to burn. That’s right – this candle is wholly reusable, and will last you roughly 42 hours of burning fun! My only gripe about the massage oil is that it becomes greasy after a while and could probably stain your sheets. Oh well, the price of a fun time.
If you are looking for something to spice up your relaxation regiment or make your own erotic experience, this sensory kit is definitely one to try. And don’t forget about the holidays – this set would be an awesome gift to anyone… naughty or nice.
Get your relax on with Jimmy Jane’s Contour M + Afterglow sensory set!
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I had my first kiss as the result of a Truth or Dare game. And no, I don’t mean a little peck that made us both blush and scamper back to our respective chairs. I mean a dare that turned into us making out and other people leaving the room. So, yeah, I have some near and dear experience with Truth or Dare. When I was younger, we would all play it to find out who was thinking what about which boy, and usually dare each other to call crushes and hang up. And once I became a little older, it was all about setting up kisses for those unsuspecting crushes. Hence my first kiss story. But as I grew up and started actually communicating my feelings (alcohol aided, of course), I stopped playing my once beloved game… until now, when Truth or Dare: A Game Of Passion landed on my desk.
While still at work, I took a sneak peek inside the smallish red, white and black rectangular box and quickly discovered that this grown up version of Truth or Dare is definitely less of a giggly game and more sexy action start up kit. Complete with 100 game cards (2 sets, truth and dare) and a die, this new game alleviates that awkward waiting while you come up with a challenge and really makes everything as easy as rolling the die and picking the appropriately labeled card. Yes, that is a bonus, but it also pretty much takes away any creativity in the process. I guess you could call it a tit for a tat…
While this game is obviously easy, don’t be fooled – it is nowhere near as quick. Each card (especially the dares) has a set of instructions that will definitely take longer than give a banana a blow job, or whatever you did as dares before. Example: “Take a bag or tote and raid your own wardrobe (or your partner’s), randomly fill the bag with a variety of underwear, briefs, or intimate apparel. Your partner will then pull three items from your bag. It is your duty to model all three choices.” Sounds like fun, sure, but don’t expect to get any further than one or two dares before the box ends up on the floor with all the cards spilled out and the die missing under the bed (but we found it finally!).
After actually sitting down to play this game with my lady, I can actually say I have really mixed reviews. Yes, both the truths and dares are thought provoking and erotic, but to be perfectly honest, a lot of the dares just seemed like a lot of work that would get in the way of wanting to fuck. I think this game would be a great addition to a couple that really needs help coming up with ways to spice up their sex life, but if you have a great sex life that doesn’t need whipped cream trails and strawberries decorating you or your partner’s body, I’d stick with what you’ve got and leave this game to the folks who may need it. That said, I can’t tell you that I will never open it again, though I think I’ll stick with it more as a box of ideas to get the creative juices flowing for a lifetime of fun nights to come.
Get your own game on with Truth or Dare: A Game Of Passion!
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SpareParts knows how to make a harness. There are some toys you just lust after. Ones that you’ve seen in action in porn movies, or read about on your favorite sex toy website – ones that you dream about playing with. Every sex toy connoisseur has them. The SpareParts’ Joque harness was mine. I coveted this crème de la crème of jock strap style harnesses for quite some time and actually squealed with excitement when I heard that one was on its way for review.
So, what’s so great about the Joque harness, you ask? The real question should be what’s not. It’s obvious that Joque was designed by someone that actually uses harnesses and knows what works. The structure is unlike any harness I’ve seen before. Instead of the standard thin straps and plastic fasteners, Joque is actually one piece of good quality thick nylon that uses Velcro to help the wearer achieve the perfect fit with no bunching or pulling. As well, the harness features spandex-y leg straps that fit like a dream and stay in one place. I’ve seen a lot of harnesses in my day, but none that even compare to the quality and attention to detail when it comes to making sure it fits and feels comfortable.
I especially love that SpareParts took the time to make a product that caters to women of different sizes. It’s a little more difficult to find a harness if you rock a zaftig body, but Joque has two sizing options and is designed to fit well on bigger bodies. That extra thought on their part really makes me respect the company and makes we want to shout their praises from the rooftops.
Aside from the fit, which is a big part, the coolest feature of Joque is the pouch/”O” ring in the front. An act of what I can only figure as extreme genius, someone over at SpareParts thought to make the “O” ring that you slide your dildo through out of elastic. That’s right; the “O” ring stretches and completely accommodates even the biggest of cocks. No taking precious sex time to switch “O” rings when you want to use a different sized dick. Just pull out and push the new one in. Seriously easy. Another awesome feature of Joque is the pouch that the “O” ring leads into. The pouch holds the base of the dildo and allows for the option to have the base against your skin or inside the pouch with the soft backing rubbing against your delicate bits. The pouch is also designed to take toys with balls, which was the biggest downfall I found with a few other harnesses.
While using the harness is pretty much a dream come true, the cleanup is far from a nightmare. The harness is 100% waterproof and can be thrown in the washing machine or cleaned by hand. And yes, being waterproof means is totally shower and bathtub friendly as well. To keep Joque clean between uses, he comes with a matching travel bag as well. How smart is that!
I know it’s obvious that I have a soft spot in my heart (and pants) for this harness, but to be honest, there are a few downsides to it as well. First, I hate having to read instructions for a sex toy. I want my toy to be intuitive enough that I can pull it out of the box and get going. But with Joque, you really need to read the instructions, and wash him first, and take the time to properly fit him. There is no just goin’ to town here. While I know that this negative is far from a real issue, it’s worth noting. I mean really, how much does it suck to be in the middle of getting busy and have to stop to read up on how to fit your harness? No thanks. Luckily you only have to do this once and just grab and go for all the times after.
With two size choices and a bevy of colors to pick (mine is lavender!), SpareParts really does know how to make a harness.
Get a SpareParts’ Joque Harness of your own!
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Sometimes it’s fun/necessary for couples to have a little toy play in the bedroom. That thought definitely influenced my desire to try out the Tongue Joy for review; unfortunately by the time it arrived, I didn’t really have a partner to test it out with. No problem, the tongue joy has a number of differently sized bands that easily can be attached to a finger for some alone time celebrations.
First thing I noticed about the Tongue Joy when I got it – the pieces. Even without opening up the package there seemed to be a million tiny little pieces just begging to be lost in one area or another during frantic fumbling. Indeed opening up the packages, which contained more packages, I immediately almost lost one of the included batteries under my living room table. As I carefully laid out all the pieces on my living room table and checked out the assembly instructions it became really clear to me that the Tongue Joy is most definitely not a spur of the moment bedroom toy.
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Contrary to what TV and movies tell you, fat chicks actually do have sex, and plenty of it. And we aren’t hiding in the dark, ashamed of our stretch mark-laden breasts and thick thighs. We are too busy making sure our partners are getting off and showing them exactly how to hit our g-spot juuuuust right.
One of the industries I would expect to know that is the sex toy industry. Sure, most sex toys are pretty much one size fits most when it comes to getting off. The majority of people can touch that vibe to their clit, or play with one of the million size dildos that each company offers, but the toy that I’m interested in talking about here in the strap-on harness. While harness come in a variety of different styles – from the double straps around the leg jock strap model to the g-string-esque, through the legs sort, they don’t always come in sizes that work for bigger bodies. The average maximum waist size of the harness I’ve checked out is between 40” and 50”. Those sizes may fit a bunch of people, but they aren’t getting me fucked, so really, I’m not interested in those harnesses, or companies that only serve smaller bedfellows.
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Being a professional sex toy reviewer has its ups and downs. Sure, I have more dildos, vibes and butt plugs than I know what to do with, but on the other hand, I have more dildos, vibes and butt plugs than I know what to do with. Really how many dicks does one girl need? I only have 2 holes! Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from complaining, it’s just that I like a little bit of variety in my sex toys, just like in my sex life. That’s why I get extra excited when I have the chance to review something totally different.
This time, asked to pick my own selection, I chose to review something I’ve never really tried before – lingerie. While I don’t think it’s something that people think about buying on a sex toy site, EdenFantasys actually has a pretty big variety to choose from. As well, they carry sizing for us zaftig gals, which automatically wins brownie points in my book. I decided to go with DreamGirl’s Satin Chemise Set in black – a three piece package of satin, lace and sexy goodness. Read the rest of this entry »
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I recently recruited my girlfriend to help review all three formula’s of Jimmy Jane’s massage lotion. Since I’ve supported her career for the past seven years, I thought it was only fair that she do the same for me.
She agreed and I explained to her that, in my professional opinion, the only real way to fairly review these products would be to receive extensive massages on consecutive nights with each product. She bought it hook, line and sinker.
First up, let me tell you a little about the Beyond line of massage lotion. If you’re someone who always checks the ingredient list before you buy a product like this, you’re going to be very happy. Beyond lotions are glycerin-free, paraben-free and take advantage of natural ingredients instead of synthetic ones. Many of you will be pleased to hear that they also never test their products on animals.
I can also say that all three left my skin feeling amazing. There’s no oily residue at all, just a silky softness I seek out and often don’t find. They leave my skin feeling hydrated and nourished – in fact I’ve used it as a moisturizer for my legs a couple of times and loved the results.
Since there are three versions of this lotion, it’s best to speak of each a little individually also. First up is Beyond Cooling, the formulation I’ve found myself reaching for the most often. Since it’s summer, I suppose it makes sense that I’m in love with the cooling version, but there’s more than that to it. What really sets this one apart for me is the combination of the cooling effect of the Organic Willamette Peppermint Oil and Cucumber Extract with the amazing scent. I don’t like to be overwhelmed by scented products and fell in love with the light cucumber and mint smell radiating from skin. I kind of want to drink it.
Regarding the cooling aspect of the product, it’s there and it’s nice, especially on a hot summer night as the breeze rolls in from an open window. It’s definitely not an overwhelming sensation, but I suspect that would take more chemicals than I prefer to expose my body to. Or ice.
Next up is Beyond Warming – guess what it does! Besides the obvious, the big difference for me is in how it smells. It’s spicy, more noticeable and reminds me of drinking a warm mug of chai in winter. According to the company, it’s natural warming extracts that cause the light sensation of heat. Again, it’s not going to set you on fire like Bengay, but it totally adds to the massage. I suspect I’ll like it even more once fall comes along.
Finally, we’ve got Beyond Euphoric, which relies on natural plant extracts to release Beta-Endorphins (whatever those are) and to promote relaxation. Any time I’m getting a massage, I’m pretty freaking relaxed, so I can’t really vouch for that, but I can say it’s another fine lotion. There’s a light citrus scent that I really love and I’m not sure if I’m making this up, but I feel like my skin is just a touch softer after using this than the other two. I should point out that they all leave your skin feeling awesome!
If I had to complain about something I’d say that this lotion isn’t great for super long massages. I have a couple of really good massage oils that don’t leave my girl feeling sticky and rub in nicely, but it takes time. Sometimes the slickness of an oil is a lot more fun that lotion. However, that’s really just me grasping for straws. This stuff rocks and I highly recommend it.
I would struggle if forced to pick out a favorite and think I’ll leave that decision up to you. Each offers something a little different, but all three are great and I really don’t think you can go wrong with any of the Jimmy Jane Beyond Lotions.
ps. They’re totally on sale right now over at babeland.com. I have no clue how long this will last, but I just had to say something!
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