Blogs, Reviews, Sex Tips, and More!
I’ll admit, when I first looked at “Panty Flash Teacher” I wasn’t sure that I wanted to review it today. After all what’s so special about another blackmail teacher type of plot but it eventually won my curiosity, with pictures of a student’s flaming head, potential futanari and simply by looking slightly better drawn than all the rest in its preview images.
The story starts out with the new teacher, Machiko Natsukawa, headed to work on the train where a few students are causing a ruckus so she goes to try and discipline them. The students decide to humiliate the teacher by pantsing her rather than listening and she ends up punching one of the two to get them off of her. Of course it turns out to be Machiko’s good luck that these same students end up in her class; they immediately start out by humiliating and manhandling her in front of the entire class.
Read the rest of this entry »
No Comments »
Never underestimate the romance of real couples fucking on film. I think there is something really romantic and endearing about wanting to show the world how you have sex as a couple. But don’t get the idea that real coupes have to be sensual and tender to screw on screen. Fuck no! This rough and tumble Burning Angel relationship flick is all about the love – and all about the pussy pounding, cum on my tits, hair pulling action. And that’s what makes it so damn hot!
Six real world couples hit the sheets (or couches, as I’ll explain later) to get down and dirty in from of the porno camera. For some it’s an anniversary gift to themselves; others just do it for fun – either way, all the alt twosomes seem to be having a hell of a lot of fun. Plus, by opening every scene with an interview (and sometimes a quick cameo by Joanna Angel herself), we as viewers get to see their real relationship dynamics and find out a little about them before the banging begins. Read the rest of this entry »
No Comments »
Yay, Jenny’s back! That’s basically a short version of my reaction when I heard there was a sequel to Jenny’s first film. You might remember Jenny Densuke best as that blond sex doll that had a whole porno in which she was the featured performer, I’ll always remember Jenny as a silicone infused breath of fresh air to my normal plotted porny bits!
Oh no, there’s a new doll in town! Right as Jenny’s getting ready to go to the AVN awards this little Chinese themed doll named Dai Ling shows up for a shoot. Dai Ling has a bit of a problem with her mother, who is a bit of a ball breaker but manages to secure herself a job despite that and has a lovely personality. It’s so very wrong for me to stare at John Michaels overly toned backside but sometimes it’s good to be wrong – John is trying to fix the van but the van is having none of it, looks like Jenny is going to miss the show and have to spend some time snowed in with the girls instead.
Read the rest of this entry »
No Comments »
I cannot believe I’ve made it to 27 years old without ever having seen Deep Throat. It’s even more embarrassing that I review porn for a living and STILL haven’t seen this iconic porn classic. I think my mother has even seen it before, which means that I am bordering on pervert failure here. So, I figured I would FINALLY get with the program and check out this legend.
After years of hearing about Deep Throat (as well as reviewing Throat: A Cautionary Tale, which is based off of Deep’s story), I was well acquainted with the basics of the plot. After years of unfulfilling sexual experiences, Linda Lovelace heads to the doctor (Harry Reems) and finds out that her clitoris is actually in the bottom of her throat! Now that she’s experienced all the “bells and bombs” going off (aka. orgasm), Lovelace becomes a true sexual convert … and what seems like the first sexual surrogate. She takes a job with the doctor as a “physical therapist” that gets super physical. Curing male patients’ sexual woes with her own special brand of medicine. Kind of like a naughty nurse, but not.
Ok, so this movie is so not what I was expecting. I’m not sure what I really thought it would be like, but it is way funny than I thought I had imagined. And way stranger… I had no clue about Dr. Young at all, but he totally makes the movie. He is all over the place, cracking random jokes and keeping the mood light and funny. I also wasn’t expecting Lovelace to start making sexy house calls. There are also all these really silly songs in the movie, in the background of the sex scenes. These crooning songs singing about what’s happening on screen. Really bizzare/awesome.
Overall, Deep Throat was totally unexpected in a completely awesome way. I was waiting for a dated classic that lived up to all the gasping and hype of how obscene it was said to be at the time (1972), but what I got was a hilariously awesome oldie but goodie that I definitely recommend for people to spend some time with.
Think of it like a history lesson – but with way more head!
-J.D. Bauchery
2 Comments »
I picked this movie for the usual reasons, I love boobs and I just discovered the holy grail of natural big boob models. Linsey Dawn McKenzie, who rose to fame at the age of 16 (in Britain you can model topless that young apparently) with 36FF boobs. Since then Linsey’s assets grew to an enormous 36HH before she finally had them reduced to a less backbreaking size. She’s a legend, not just for her amazing rack but also for her slim figure (36-24-36, seriously I didn’t think anyone had those measurements besides Barbie). “Ultimate Linsey” is the only film I could find where this legendary model has full hardcore sex before her breast reduction.
Ok, accent – smoldering fucking hot! Linsey starts off with a little monologue and it’s seriously hard to concentrate on what she’s saying because of her hot British accent. Yeah, I guess an accent is the fastest way to my libido. After that there’s lots of tit play as Linsey shows of her absolutely amazing breasts. Seriously all that stuff I’ve seen models do with ginormous implants is a whole new experience when Linsey does it. Also, Linsey is really flexible and really active for a woman masturbating on her bed.
Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment »
While there are a million things that are more important to a dirty movie than music, it can definitely add a lot to the experience when well done. Evan Essence is one of those movies that is vastly improved by the inclusion of great music. It also happens to feature the amazing Evan Stone, one of the most popular cock slingers of the last dozen or so years.
Each scene of this movie is set in a different decade, starting with the twenties and ending in the 2000’s. Besides the visual cues, each time period is set up using music and it’s pretty fantastic. Whether it’s Stone playing a record on a vintage machine in the first scene or spinning in the new millennium as a DJ in the final, it’s a nice touch, especially for a music fan like myself.
My favorite scene was the second because Gen Padova really looks the part of a classic film noir star. She hooks up with a detective, played by the super handsome Jack Lawrence, and I love how they take a little time to get to know each other before getting down and dirty. He drives her crazy as he works her pussy with his tongue and fingers before she returns the favor. Once they’re both really worked up, he slips inside of her and they bone until he blows a load on her gorgeous stomach. Good stuff!
The other scene I loved was the fourth, which takes place in the 70s and stars Jassie. I’ve been super into people screwing on cars lately and the Trans Am made it for me! Damien Childs plays a mechanic and proves that he’s good with his hands in this one. The couple has great chemistry and there’s a disco ball – what else could you ask for?
While I didn’t talk about Stone much, if you’re a fan you’ll enjoy both of his scenes, especially the first.
While we all know that women have eclectic tastes in XXX ranging from sensual softcore scenes to the dirtiest fuckfests you’ll find, this is one of those hetero movies I would say was made with women in mind. It’s a great starter for straight ladies who are a bit intimidated by XXX, but curious about checking it out and fantastic for porn enthusiasts who don’t enjoy super hardcore movies.
-The Porn Librarian
No Comments »
Today I’ve got an extra special treat – more of “Porn’s Most Outrageous Outtakes!” Normally I’m not a gossip/tabloid kind of girl but I do occasionally find myself desperately curious about what’s going on onset of some of the many, many, pornos I’ve seen. Since I’m also not the type to take my clothes off in front of a camera and crew, can’t hold a camera steady and have no directing skills, these behind the scenes films are my best peak behind the scenes. Besides I heard that Tanner Mayes totally freaks out on the set of this one.
Awesome, first up is indeed Tanner! Jim has nothing but nice things to say about her while he’s introducing the scene. It all starts with a questionable mark on Tanner’s thigh, that one of the girls sees and doesn’t want touching her thought Tanner has a valid test that she brought with her to the scene to explain what she calls chaffing. Shortly after that Tanner quit the shoot mid scene and heads to leave, but realized that she’d left her phone and goes back to get it and while doing so shoves a monitor onto the floor. In motion it’s all of a jumble, Tanner seems really sweet at first if a little disjointed. It was kind of sad watching her meltdown and tries and to tell everyone off.
Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments »
Before I even start talking about this quickie, can I just say that I totally want the book Harry Reems is looking through in the beginning. I believe it is Tina Russell’s Porno Star from 1973, but sadly it’s over $60 on amazon… I am so adding that to my list of books to look for in thrift shops!
Back to the porno – I chose this one because Reems was one of the biggest stars of the golden age of the industry, but for some reason we never seem to talk about him. I’ve really only seen him in a few different films and I watch a ton of classic porn. I’m not sure what the deal is with that, but I figured I should check him out, even if he is going to insist on that mustache.
In this short scene, Reems gets tag teamed by two girls who dress like mid-western soccer moms in the 70s. Or at least I’m guessing that’s that case. Unlike a lot of these classic clips, this one doesn’t jump around, which is really nice. The bj scene is impressive (it would have to be with a cock that big) and lasts the perfect amount of time. Once the girls strip out of their frocks, they take turns riding cock until Reems drops a load in the brunette’s mouth. Good stuff!
Overall this is a nice slow scene featuring a big star with a couple of women who have real bodies with pubic hair, visible flaws (!) and know how to have a good time. If you like the old stuff, it’s so worth 9 minutes of your time!
Also, I would just like to go on record as stating that Cheese Doodles never have a place in porn. Cheetos, now that’s a whole different story!
-The Porn Librarian
2 Comments »
I see a lot of forced feminization movies out there but when I came across “Mommy’s Boi” and its forced masculization premise, well let’s just say I was intrigued. I’ve never watched a movie from Girlfriends Films before either and I’ve heard a lot about them lately so now seemed like as good a time as any to begin my introduction.
My first thoughts while watching this are “huh” and “why did you pay for those boobs if you’re just gonna squish ‘em down with bandages?” I’m confused is playing ‘boi’ supposed to be a turn on for your average lesbian the way that playing nurse or something would be in a hetero relationship? Cause this has the same kind of ridiculous oversimplification to it that happens in many roleplay type pornos.
Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments »
For today’s hentai offering I went looking for something special, something new, interesting and atypical. I settled on “Ride Of The Valkyrie” because it looked like it had an extra special treat in store for its viewers – futanari.
You see I’ve seen tons of futanari manga’s but like yaoi it’s a rare thing to find in movie format, at least in the states it is. Ok, quick lesson, the term futanari refers to characters (usually depicted as female) who have both genitalia at the same time. Futanari characters genitalia is usually depicted in one of three ways: male genitalia above female organs (cock and balls sprout above the clit), a variation in which the clit becomes the cock, and a final variation on the two previous forms that is ball less. Their cocks also usually tend to be pretty unrealistically huge. These types of characters tend to add a whole new awesome dynamic on your average fantasy sex scene so I was super eager to see one ‘in the wild’ as it were.
Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment »
