Ever since J.D. and I were accosted by a woman who decided I didn’t look like a girl who likes porn, I’ve wondered about what a dirty girl looks like. She obviously does not look like this:

If I am to believe the one woman sample from the drunk chick who yelled at me by the pool study, I can deduce that a girl who likes porn looks exactly like this:

You can’t see in this picture, but you should know that J.D. has a crap load of tattoos. I don’t have any. I’m a freaking angel. You may ask why I bring this up… Well, let me tell you. Another highly scientific study I read about at BOINKOLOGY has determined that girls with lots of tattoos love butt sex.

Here’s an excerpt from the abstract:

Not true. Tattoos equal dirty girl. I have a theory that 100 percent of the time girls with tattoos—
Fuck better. Yes, that’s true.

I was going to say, ‘like butt sex.’
Oh really? Wow. That’s way better than heartthrob. Oh man. I would honestly answer that question if it wasn’t going to bum out my publicist.

It doesn’t require an answer because, as I said, it’s 100 percent of the time.
Uh-huh. I think you might be on to something there. It’s something to wrap your mind around.

Now, if you remember back to the Diana Cage interview we did, you’ll recall that J.D. (who is covered in ink) talked about anal for the entire hour. I talked mostly about puppies and cuddling.

In conclusion, it is apparent when looking at these two detailed studies, that ALL girls with tattoos love butt sex (almost as much as 16 year old girls who are dedicated to saving their virginity for their husbands) and porn!