I am on vacation. A real vacation that involves airplanes, cruise boats, tropical destinations and time alone with my girlfriend. I really can’t imagine anything better. While I did not bring my laptop away with us, I did think about it, purely based on the fact that internet in the room equals porn, and we have some pretty freaking amazing stuff that would be perfect to watch in a locked stateroom with your partner and a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign hanging on the door. Here are the top five movies I would have wanted us to watch on our paradise vacay, had I just bit the bullet and packed my powerbook.

Crash Pad Series – Episode 10: Vai’s Solo: Vai is one of the hottest gals I’ve encountered in the pornosphere. Something about her shy smile and the way that she squirts buckets just gets to me… in a totally good and swoon worthy way. I have yet to introduce this Crash Pad cutie to my life outside of work, and I figure this is as perfect a time as any.

Good Dyke Porn: With a title like Good Dyke Porn, you know right off the bat that you aren’t getting any crap. Just hot queers rollin’ around in the hay and havin’ a good time. And when it comes to limited vacation time fun, you need to know you are getting your selection right the first time.

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex: This newest Tristan Taormino flick features five popular porn stars taking on their own rough sex fantasies with partners of their own choice. If that doesn’t sound like the hottest set up in porno history, I’m really not sure what does. With Sasha Grey, Satine Phoenix and Derrick Pierce among the roster, I know this movie is going to shoot to the top of my must watch again list – vacation or no vacation.

First Dates: Watching April Flores get plowed as she’s on all fours atop a grungy bar is definitely the highlight of this super sexy, super cute all girl fuck fest. Three scenes of non-stop girl-girl excitement and a fun blind date plot is just what the cruise director ordered!

Coffee, Tea Or Me: Like I said, we’re taking a plane, so what better than mile high hotness to give us a few ideas?

Bon Voyage!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery